Mariners and Marriage

 Xxxxxxxx 3/O:
Sir I had a personal query..I am 3rd off in Anglo from XXXXXXX Jharkhand..only son of my parent..Now its time to get married so parents are seeing girl..they are getting some good rista but in these cases girl is working in IT company and staying in pune Gurgaon...
Now the fact is that I want to stay with my parents in XXXXXpur..My father has also build a good home for our family in  XXXXXpur and with God grace we are well settled in XXXXXXpur having small business..I am planning to switch to land in few years with good investment in my business..an I also want to marry a smart girl who can manage my home and take care of my parents on my behalf..when I am at sea but most of options which we are getting the girl is settled in other state..I will also be wrong to tell a girl to leave job and stay with us..please advice me what to do 🙏

Rajeeve Kaushik:
Things haven't changed much in last 32 years, the more they change, the more they remain the same.
I faced quite a same challenge that many years ago.
Of course in those days the ladies were not working as much but everybody was quite open about the fact that I will not stay with your parents when you are sailing.
Plus of late I am witnessing lot of failed marriages of youngsters in which case they are happening within a few months or 1 or 2 years.
So many years ago what I did was instead of going by my father's matrimonial I wrote my own matrimonial indicating clearly my profession and requirement of a girl from a family which values fine arts, music and creative talents.
But I also mentioned that the girl should be self employed or a professional like CA doctor etc.
By good Karma I got exactly the family that I was looking out for and a wife whom none can match.
Family Background matters a lot.
Because the same traits are carried forward to child.
I can see that now in my daughter how she is raising her own child.

So my suggestion is to ask your parents to take it easy.
Look for a girl from not only same milieu, but similar area .
I would suggest you sit down and write your own matrimonial.

You must keep a few things in mind.
Even though you are 27 you are still a third officer and at a stage when you cannot really carry your wife on board even if the company allows.
You will be spending substantial time in your exams so foreign travels also ruled out.
The ladies working in the IT sector today would be earning your comparable salaries so there is no incentive for her to marry you.
What you do in future should not govern your decisions today.
So be Patient and let things happen .
Warn your parents about complications of today's marriages.