My journey into losing myself
Yesterday was 16th November.
As I woke up I was staring at
the ceiling... I remembered something and smiled to myself.
Slowly I made my way to the drawer and took out the
dusty folder and gingerly opened my CDC.
The Last entry declared 16th November 2014...5 years...
5 years is a long time in any human beings life and
certainly in the life of a sailor who loses all relevance to the life that he
has known for over three decades.
The journey started in a quest to lose myself and my ego .
It was certainly not any easy decision for a person who
loves the sea as such and certainly admires the ship and its life on board.
It was certainly not an easy decision since people always
heard me saying that I would sail till I can and then till I can't.
Today , as I sit completely relaxed in my massage chair
pretending to be 10 years older than I am...
I find these five years to be an equally enchanting
journey into completely different kind of self discovery.
There have not been many moments in these 5 years that I
worried about earning anything or endeavouring to earn money in any way.
Most of the days and hours were spent in working for people who
are not related to me or my family.
I discovered the enormous and insightful world of of charity
and living for others.
I can't claim that I ever dreamt or missed the life on ship
or the bridge or the machinery of engine room.
I have forgotten the insides of the purifier and the
crankcase but learnt more about the insides of human souls.
I have learnt more about human greed and selfishness and
what it makes people do in their lives.
I have learnt and realised how difficult it was for my wife
to spend those 24 years alone. I realised that she worked no less, rather much
more, at home with my daughter and parents then I did on board.
I celebrated my silver wedding anniversary almost as if we
were getting married and I renewed my vows with her and promised to be at her
side finally...
... though this post is meant for my friends and colleagues on the
financial groups of seafarers I must tell them that it is not about money
alone...
It is certainly necessary that they gain financial
independence as soon as possible but it is even more important to gain
understanding with their families. It is necessary that they develop
understanding of life and develop hobbies and pastimes and passions which would
keep them working past those golden years.
It will not matter when you will give up this enchanting
,charming and wholesome life at sea but it will matter how you will like
yourself to be seen in those years.
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